Stuff I saw on the internet last week: “Big-brained babies too stupid to do sick flips from tree branches”
Happy Monday! Yet again, everything is even worse and more confusing than it was the week before, so let’s just distract ourselves for a few minutes with some fun internet stuff.
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TWEETS!
REDDIT!
One, do not force people to be around strippers if they don’t want to be. Two, BITCH THERE’S A PANDEMIC:
Anyways, for my Bachelorette party, I wanted to go hire male strippers. Everyone thought it was a great idea...except June.
June said she was happy I was happy, but she wouldn't be attending that type of event. I asked her why, I made sure to plan it on a day everyone could come. She said it wasn't something she was comfortable with. I got upset and told her its not about her comfort, its about attending to support me.
An adorable little squeak:
Ah, another man who is in no way ready to be in an actual relationship:
I usually use tampons and throw them away wrapped in toilet paper in the trashcan (with a lid). The other day my boyfriend barged into my office space yelling about have I was 'disgusting' and how 'he shouldn't have to see that stuff' (while i was in a ZOOM CLASS, luckily muted thank god). I got pissed that he was having such an over the top reaction, in my opinion, and asked what he would like me to do with them instead. He said that he literally almost threw up because he could see the blood soaked through the toilet paper and he would prefer I throw them out in the trash bin outside.
Here’s a great video of a golden raccoon eating cherries.
This thread is a fucking rollercoaster and I love every minute of it:
More crickets until mid-August when I send out an obligatory email checking in, asking if there's any info or if I could assist in pushing her along to getting things actually on my board and in my account because I dont order shit until I'm paid.
MORE FUCKING CRICKETS.
So I go along, making flower dreams come true as I do and this cow calls me on the Saturday past, 7 DAYS BEFORE HER EVENT AND ASKS ME IF EVERYTHING IS READY.
MA'AM.
I DO NOT WORK FOR YOU UNTIL I AM PAID, FULL FUCKING STOP.
Ah, the ol’ “I shouldn’t have to apologize because you weren’t nice to my totally wrong and rude comment”:
I sent her a private message that i felt like she was appropriating her husband and daughter's culture, and this was her reply: "Their culture? You mean the culture of not wanting to go to jail, because it is illegal in Iran for a woman not to have her hair covered? Yeah, i suck for not wanting to get arrested, and my husband is Jewish dumbass, so that isn't even his culture. Fucking unbelievable"
Ok, i looked into it and she is right, she was following a law, and it is a religious thing, not just an Iranian thing. My husband says i should apologize, which i find ironic because he doesn't even like his mother. I said i would only apologize for my mistake if she apologized for how incredibly rude and condescending her reply was.
You have to love a good himbo:
Jeff: just unlock your car
Me:....I can't my keys are locked in the car
Jeff: no you can unlock it, just stick your hand through the window and unlock it
Me: no I can't, my window is up
Jeff: get a coat hanger
Me: I can't, my window is COMPLETELY up, there is absolutely no way I can get anything through my window
Jeff: yes you can just stick your hand through the window and unlock it!
I honestly couldn't believe I was actually having this conversation.
Me: listen to me very carefully.......My window is completely rolled up, meaning, there is no way for me to put my hand through the window and unlock it, there is no way to put a coat hanger through the window because the window, all the windows, are COMPLETELY rolled up!!!
Jeff: well I don't know what you want me to do about it
Me: BRING. ME. MY. SPARE. CAR. KEY.
Jeff: WHY?!
This video will insult you in the most impressive way.
Here’s a very good zit-popping video.
And this is NOT a zit-popping video but it’s got the same vibe.
TUMBLR!
Human babies are the worst:
(via pregnantseinfeld, thread found here.)
I always love learning something new:
(via indigo-adult, thread found here.)
This joke is bad but I love it so much:
(via pricesstigerbelle, thread found here.)
Well, I’ve been singing this all day:
(via mechanicalpaw.)
And here is an epic thread from very unlikely sources.
ARTICLES!
Millennials Are Trying To Shake The Stigma Of Moving Back In With Their Parents, BuzzFeed News
Would Emily in Paris’s Bot-like Instagram Actually Go Viral? We Asked 3 Parisian Influencers, Vulture — I’m going to talk about Emily In Paris in the newsletter tomorrow, but yes, her Instagram account is so terrible.
Finally, a Space Toilet for Ladies, The Cut
Are All My Friends Mad at Me?, The Cut
Students Use TikTok to Document the Invasive Test-Taking Software Destroying Their Lives, Jezebel
How to Cope When Everything Feels Bad and Somehow It Keeps Getting Worse, Vice
That’s all for me today, gorgeous! Talk to you soon.
Love,
Kat
You can follow me on Twitter here, and Instagram here. *All typos and other errors were included specifically to bother you.*