"The Stand" is very dumb
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🚨 This newsletter contains spoilers for the Paramount+ version of The Stand. 🚨
There are probably a million things I could have watched right now than a miniseries about a virus that kills almost all of the world’s population and the subsequent battle of good vs. evil, but I mean, obviously I have a problem, so yeah, I watched all of CBC All Access’s The Stand. Or I guess the service is called Paramount+ now? Anyway, we don’t have that in Canada — here, it’s on Amazon Prime.
Now, I haven’t read the novel (though I know what happens in it), so I don’t have any real loyalty to the original story. I have seen the 1994 miniseries, but I think I was so distracted by Jamey Sheridan’s mullet that I couldn’t take his evilness seriously.
I mean, look at that thing. Not even the devil can get away with that.
The new miniseries makes some changes in an effort to revitalize the well-known story — it flashes back and forward between different characters before and during the virus spread, and with them already settled in Boulder among the “good” camp of people. The characters of Lucy and Nadine are combined, with Nadine looking after young Joe and being seduced by Flagg. I also appreciated that the new series did away with Flagg sexually assaulting her (we’ve had enough of that in pop culture, thank you) — instead, she’s into it, and the experience transforms her (temporarily, at least) into a more glam version of herself. Instead of the assault and the knowledge of her pregnancy being the reason Nadine throws herself out the window, it’s the painful and horrific progression of the pregnancy that makes her realize that Flagg never intended for her to survive the birth. As well, Larry Underwood is played by the Black actor Jovan Adepo, and the character of Ralph from the book is changed to Ray, a First Nations woman, giving the story a little more representation than the original.
That said, most of the other characters are white, and it’s NOT GREAT when pretty much all of the POC characters die by the end of the series, which is pretty much what happens. Sure, Glen (played here by Greg Kinnear) also dies not long before Larry and Ray drown together — but his death plays out much differently than theirs and seems to be treated a little better. It just seemed that the writers were like, “Welp, let’s just change the races of these characters and not really think about the implications of what happens to them later on.” As much as I love James Marsden, Stan probably should have been played by a person of colour. Also, Stan needed to be given a personality (again, sorry to James Marsden).
And the Mother Abigail character, played here by Whoopi Goldberg, has long been an issue with The Stand, as the “magical Black person” trope is tired and offensive — and frankly, once she brings all the “good” people to Boulder, she doesn’t seem to do much else except die. Well, except for the final episode (more on that later).
And ultimately, the new series doesn’t do much for character development for any of the characters in the “good” camp — it seems mainly interested in the tortured, tragic arcs of “lost souls.” Harold goes from incel terrorist to contrite dead man, Nadine ultimately realizes her folly, and even Lloyd gets to realize that he doesn’t actually believe in Flagg’s rhetoric and doesn’t want to murder anyone else. (Maybe it’s because when Flagg uses magic to reveal his true evil nature to people, they see what are essentially clips from Evanescence music videos.) We don’t even get the storyline of Tom Cullen saving Stan and nursing him back to health in a cabin — that part’s completely cut, giving Tom almost nothing to do. Stan and Frannie are as dull and unexplored as ever, making the last episode that focuses mainly on them really disappointing. Why should I care what happens in Boulder if everyone left there sucks?
And also, it’s ridiculous that the Boulder camp sending spies to New Vegas basically didn’t accomplish anything, and everything still would have ended up fine if the “good” people had just stayed home and done nothing. It could be argued that Glen and Larry help the people of New Vegas second guess their evil ruler and the paths they’ve chosen (even then, Ray doesn’t appear to have that effect on anyone, making me wonder why she needed to be there). But ultimately, that nuclear bomb was going to go off in the middle of New Vegas regardless, destroying Flagg and everything else within miles. And sending Tom as a spy didn’t even result in any valuable intel! He’s only there to save Stu later on, which he wouldn’t have needed to do if everyone had just stayed put! They don’t even return until weeks after New Vegas is destroyed. Good thing you sent him on that wild goose chase, guys.
And then yes, Stephen King wanted to write yet another new ending to The Stand, and he wrote the final episode of this new miniseries. The episode sees Frannie and Stan (and baby Abagail) leave Boulder to visit Maine (like IDIOTS), and while Stan is out grabbing groceries, Frannie (like an IDIOT) stands on the lid of an old well and falls down it. In her dreams, she’s momentarily tempted by Flagg in order to be healed, but she resists him — and good thing, too, because apparently Mother Abagail has now been reborn as a “magical Black teenager” who helps Stu get Frannie out and then heals all of her wounds. Then she disappears, because what could Mother Abagail possibly have left to do once she’s saved the boring white people?
I mean, sure, in the last scene, we get to see Alexander Skarsgard’s butt while he greets a remote tribe and commands them to worship him, but it’s not enough to save the previous nine hours. But I still watched all the episodes, because I’m stuck inside and I have no self-control. Learn from my mistakes, everyone.
Another paywalled issue comes out on Friday!
As y’all know, paying subscribers get extra content each week (usually) that you normies don’t get. On Friday, I’ll be talking about the first (and sadly, only) season of Hulu’s gender-swapped High Fidelity. Did it work with Zoe Kravitz in the lead? What other changes did they make? Will Kingsley Ben-Adir ever marry me? If you want the answers to (most of) those questions, click the button below.
That’s all for me today, gorgeous! Talk to you soon.
Love,
Kat
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