Stuff I saw on the internet last week: "not able to be a mushroom"
Happy Monday! Thanks for indulging my sadness last week. On the bright side, I think my ADHD medication has begun working — yesterday I tidied my desk without prompting, and then thought, “I should get all my tax stuff prepared” and actually worked on it for a while. The deadline isn’t even looming! SCIENCE! Anyway, onto internet things.
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On last week’s episode of I Hate It But I Love It, Jocelyn and I continued Action Movie Month by talking about Point Break and also discussing how we’re total weenies who will never go surfing or skydiving, and that we’ll never ski again. (There’s no skiing in Point Break, but we wanted to make it clear anyway.) And this Wednesday’s episode will be about Fast Five! You should subscribe, if you wanna be cool. (You can subscribe to I Hate It But I Love It in all the usual places, including Apple, Spotify, Stitcher, and Pocket Casts.)
TWEETS!
REDDIT!
A true asshole, and also a guy who won’t ever hear from his daughter again after she moves out:
the fact that she's not receiving a monthly income means that she's not able to pay me rent in due time. I get that she's still studying, and that she's my daughter, but I can't have a grown adult woman stay in my house rent free.
So the other day I brought up the topic, and she said that she's trying her best, but that she's overwhelmed as is, juggling her assistant work and her studies. I was sort of annoyed at this, and told her that her assistant work isn't a real job, that her hours is lenient and that she needs to get a real job to cover her monthly rent or that she has to move out.
She started crying, and said that it is a real job, and that the lump sum will be just enough to cover her rent and her student loan debt. But I'm still not eager to sit and wait for her on her rent.
AskReddit is usually a fun time, especially with questions like this: You have to choose one person from all of human history to shit their pants, at a time so as to change the course of history as much as possible. Who would you choose, when and why?
ARSEPYLON: Abraham Lincoln shits his pants 10 seconds before being assassinated, causing him to turn around to go change and thwarting John Wilkes Booth.
BillOakley: I second this but mainly because I’d really like to see Daniel Day Lewis act out a dramatic pant-shitting scene
Maggie sounds like she’s setting perfectly reasonable boundaries, and you also purposely withheld the reason why your MIL wore white to your wedding:
BIL is currently engaged. We'll call her Maggie. I find her super annoying, and she has a lot of issues with MIL. She makes a lot of stupid boundaries, like she told MIL not to come over without calling, and I asked if MIL had ever done that and she admitted she hadn't, but she just wanted to be prepared. Maggie can't figure out why none of us like her.
Hoo boy, I felt my rage levels rising at this husband:
Anyway, this Friday after work, he tells me that he needs me to look after the baby on Monday while he goes and trains a new employee. I said it doesn't work for me, as I have work, and I have a client meeting that morning, so I don't have that much flexibility. He told me it was not feasible for him to take every Monday off, and I had to do it sometimes, and I was like, well, I can't. He then asked me what would make me happy. And I said that what would make me happy was going back in time and listening to me when I said we should arrange an extra day of childcare, and it was his decision not to do that, so he should figure out what to do with the baby and stop making it my problem.
You don’t get to bully someone and then complain that they’re still upset about it years later:
I didn’t realize what Bri was salty about until a recent project. Bri and I were working together with a few others, who started to joke with me about how they’d better watch their potty mouths around me lest they get written up. I was confused until I asked Bri, who, after some “I can’t believe you really don’t know what they’re on about” quips, admitted that she was still annoyed that Tess and I had our little clique and bullied her as kids.
I looked at her in disbelief and asked her if she was still harping on about that, close to 20 years later. Her answer: “oh fuck off with that. I told you multiple times that I didn’t like your little game and you wouldn’t stop. Oh wait. Are you going to take away my points because I said the f word?”
TUMBLR!
(via memecucker, thread found here.)
(via luxurychaos, thread found here.)
(via wheeloffortune-design.)
(via pregnantseinfeld, thread found here.)
(via ohhekate.)
(via rgsystem.)
TIKTOKS!
“I had to bring out the big guns.”
“The best way to wake me up in the morning…”
“Pray for my mans he isn’t looking too hot.”
Messing up a trick shot in the best way possible (twice).
A fascinating linguistics TikTok about “dummy words.”
“Girls love when you tell them this.”
“I turned over because we argued and now he’s being dramatic.”
“I lived with Josh Hawley in college & he sucks.”
Every song released in the mid-2000s.
ARTICLES!
#1318: “Pissed off during the post-pandemic party because nobody kept in touch.”, Captain Awkward
We Hate You Now: The Hardest Problem of The Aftertimes, Medium
What Went Wrong at Gimlet?, Vulture
What Really Happened at ‘Reply All’?, New York Times (I’m clearly obsessed with this story)
The Fall of Armie Hammer: A Family Saga of Sex, Money, Drugs, and Betrayal, Vanity Fair
My Mom Believes In QAnon. I’ve Been Trying To Get Her Out., BuzzFeed News
Thoughts on rejection from a hiring manager in a competitive field, Ask a Manager (and this related comment from a reader)
That’s all for me today, gorgeous! Talk to you soon.
Love,
Kat
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