Stuff I saw on the internet last week: "why do you sext like Jigsaw"
Happy Monday! My partner Craig and several of my friends are getting their second doses this week, which is a big relief. But just a reminder that most countries don’t have nearly as much access to the COVID vaccine and need help —instead of me asking you to become a paid subscriber to my newsletter today, I’m asking you to donate to UNICEF’s vaccine efforts, or to a similar charity of your choice.
TWEETS!
REDDIT!
Way to not have your wife’s back at all, buddy:
While driving over to my mom's house, my wife was in noticeable bad mood & kept saying she thinks this is going to be a party and not a small get together. In my mind, I thought it could turn into a party but kept saying that it would only be my family and just a small get together since they couldn't make it to the real party the next day. I told her "they won't have balloons, or party decorations so you can't call it a party." I was also annoyed at how mad she was getting over the whole thing & was admittedly playing devils advocate to everything she was saying.
we get there and the first thing we see when we walk in is party balloons & decorations. I knew this was going to be a shitstorm at this point and tried to avoid my wife's furry and just focus on making sure my son had a fun time as well as my mom's side of the family. No denying this was a party.
Aaaaaand another one:
As soon as they leave our house that night, I tell my husband that neither of them are ever allowed in my house ever again, especially her, because if someone has a problem with me, I'd rather them come to me versus talking shit about me behind my back and exaggerating what's going on, and especially because of how HE handled the situation.
Fast forward to yesterday, where my husband mentions that he's planning a PARTY for this same friend and his now-wife (they had a court marriage last week) for this weekend at our house. I tell him that, in no uncertain terms was this woman, who couldn't take things up with me like an adult, going to be celebrating HER wedding at MY home, especially since I banned her previously. I told him I may reconsider the ban if she apologized thoroughly, since the road trip itself was a FREE favor to her and her husband. I told my husband that the party was canceled and if he wanted it to happen, it wasn't happening here. He told me I was being an asshole towards him, his friend, and her and that it wasn't fair…
This guy purposely brought a change of clothes so he could show off his anime tattoos to his girlfriend’s coworkers:
So we get there and everyone is dressed casually but appropriately for a work party. You know polos, short sleeved dress shirts, dark jeans chinos work pants nice shoes. All summer clothing. I’m hot as fuck in my sweater and they had these spicy wings that I couldn’t stop eating so I was sweating and uncomfortable hot. And my new Vegeta tat was itching with the sweater on. I make some small talk with her coworkers but I’m uncomfortable. So I say fuck it. I go to my car and change into my sleeveless. Put in more deodorant and head back.
My gf sees me and her eyes pop out. She makes her way towards me but some of her coworkers are already talking to me about my tats. Asking what they mean so I explain to them I’m a huge anime/manga fan and that all my tats are about the different series that I love. I can see that some of her coworkers are looking at me strangely because I guess I do stand out a bit now.
This story is wild, I’m just going to excerpt the final line:
And THAT'S how I learned that black market horse semen fraud is a thing!
I really enjoyed this AskReddit thread on supposedly useless items that Dungeon Masters gave their players that they ended up exploiting:
I gave my players a "pig whistle". Once a day, they could blow the whistle and summon a pig. I hadn't given too much thought about it but they used it CONSTANTLY! They would send pigs off to spring traps. They would have impromptu luaus to curry favor with peasants. They never had to worry about rations again. Pork for dinner! I thought it was just a useless throw away item, but they sure proved me wrong! good times.
TUMBLR!
(via miir4ge, thread found here.)
(via trans-mom, thread found here.)
(via authorizedpope.)
(via lilybed, thread found here.)
(via omnybus, thread found here.)
(via normal-horoscopes.)
TIKTOKS!
A good girl playing fetch.
“I made a song to play over my neighbour’s Bluetooth speaker when they’re being too loud.”
This house is a death trap!!!
“The question of the day is: Does Lisa cry when she meets every baby animal?”
This is an excellent video and I applaud the commitment.
“When you get your wisdom teeth out…”
“Jay Z absolutely murdered this verse imo.”
I can’t figure out if this is good parenting or bad parenting.
I can’t figure out if this bachelor party will be amazing or tragic.
ARTICLES!
Want To Have Sex With A Celeb? Sign An NDA, BuzzFeed News
Christopher Meloni on Glutes, Shipping, and Zaddies, Interview
The Curious Rise of Twitter Power Broker Yashar Ali, L.A. Mag
Why Is Everyone So Mad At Gabbie Hanna?, BuzzFeed News
Homebuying as a single Black woman is hard. No one told me it’d be terrifying, The Lily
How to Kiss Your Girlfriend, Esquire
The Circles of Friendship, Kottke.org
That’s all for me today, gorgeous! Talk to you soon.
Love,
Kat