Stuff I saw on the internet last week: "oh jeez the telepaths are going to judge me"
Happy Monday! I got to see and hug my family on the weekend and I cannot believe how renewed I felt afterwards. And I finally got to meet my sister’s puppy, Scout! She’s the best. PLUS I got to hang out with Jocelyn in person for the first time in a long time, and we just got drunk and talked about how much we love our boyfriends and friends and each other. I wish all of this happiness for all of you as soon as possible, too. Onto the internet stuff!
I put a lot of work into this newsletter, and I’d really appreciate if you’d think about getting a paid subscription to Kat Watches Everything! It’s just $5 a month (or $50 a year, which is two months free), and you’ll be rewarded with bonus content. Last week, paid subscribers got a bonus post about me going to see Escape Room: Tournament of Champions:
I woke up on Friday fully expecting to rent this on iTunes, only to discover that the movie was only out in theatres. And movie theatres actually opened up in Ontario this weekend, which means… MY FIRST MOVIE THEATRE EXPERIENCE SINCE COVID WAS ESCAPE ROOM: TOURNAMENT OF CHAMPIONS. I took two subways, bought a ticket and concession snacks, and sat in a dark room with other people (more than you’d expect!) to watch this movie. You’re welcome.
But you know what?
I DIDN’T HATE IT. I know.
Click below if you’d like to check that out!
On last week’s episode of my podcast I Hate It But I Love It, Jocelyn and I continued SpyHIBILI month (a whole month of spy movies) by looking back at Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me. Wow, Fat Bastard is woefully unfunny, huh? And this Wednesday’s episode will be about True Lies. (You can find I Hate It But I Love It in all the usual places, including Apple, Spotify, Stitcher, and Pocket Casts.)
TWEETS!
REDDIT!
Yet more asshole-ish wedding drama:
Well, my fiancé's little sister decided she didn't want to be the Flower Girl, which has left me scrambling for another one. All of my female relatives are either my age or older, and my fiancé doesn't have any other sisters and it would be awkward asking a cousin of his, so I decided to ask my brother if his daughter would like to do it… I didn't mention to my brother that I only wanted my Niece there and that he needed to find child case for my Nephews.
Father of the year right here:
Anna and I don't really have the same interests. She's a smart kid and likes to read like her mom, but I'm more active, outdoorsy like Abby.
Last week, I took my daughters to the library and I was bored out of my mind. We were sitting on this annoying bean bag and Anna kept bring me all these books to read with her. Finally, Abby said, "I'm bored!" which is exactly what I was thinking, so when Anna went looking for another book, we went to kick around a soccer ball in the field across the street. We were only gone for 10 minutes MAX but Anna called my wife crying and said we had left her in the library, instead of calling me and asking where we were. So yeah I was mad about that for a few days.
Oh, man, I feel for this poor girl — this guy is just taking, taking, taking:
About a 5mos ago he asked me to move in. This meant I’d leave my job that I love more than anything, and was incredibly difficult for me to consider. The only job I could find was in my old field that I worked hard to leave and am taking a 23K pay cut for the next 2 years. But I did this for love. Plus I’m moving my whole life to be with him. So I said “the only thing I ask is an engagement ring that I’d like that is 2cts which is about 30K-ish.” He responded “okay” which I thought he meant he was good with it. He makes about 50K more than I do, and Well into 6 figures no debt.
It’s now 2 days into me moving in. He asked me to send him a few rings I like, and he was genuinely shocked at the price. I didn’t really understand why. He said he could afford it but it would be half his savings- which he doesn’t mind spending, but he thinks an engagement ring is too frivolous.
I was shocked and upset because I already quit my job, moved in, and locked into a new job that I hate all for him and the one thing I thought I mentioned clearly he scoffed at.
What a piece of shit who said a piece-of-shit thing:
Our family has 11 people when my stepdaughter is here, my husband and I, our other 4 kids, my sister and her son, and my parents, so we run our household very differently. We have things like routines, and chore lists. Aside from the past year, we have kids in sports. I'm sorry that we don't have a private bathroom for each person in the house and that we have actual tasks that need to be done in the house every single day and can't just get done never tomorrow.
She has never adjusted well in transitions and thinks we're strict for having actual standards. I'm sorry, but things just are not the same when it's 2 people versus a family of 10-11. It's not "just do whatever" like it can be with 2 people. After years of arguments, I finally snapped and told her that I'm sorry she has to spend so much time with an actual family, and now everyone is mad at me for not going along with the idea that a single woman with one part-time child is just as much a family as a large multgenerational family.
RUN AWAY AND CALL THE POLICE:
And that now brings us to last month. I haven't been able to fully trust him, and I decided to check in on his computer again to make sure he didn't have anything still. This time, I thought to look for websites he might be frequenting and found a secret email account. In the photo cloud of that email account was my worst nightmare. He HAD collected photos and videos of our friends using our bathroom. He had a lot.
In this situation, I can’t honestly say I wouldn’t have gotten drunk and showed up to the wedding to yell at everyone:
Turns out my parents knew about this and some of our friends. I kicked him out and cut off everybody who knew. Well a couple weeks ago I got an invite to the wedding. Something snapped inside of me, I got drunk and I took a cab to my parents house where they were throwing a party for them. Most of my family was there, I basically showed up and gave a whole fuck you speech to everybody. My sister ran upstairs in tears and my parents called me an a hole for ruining the prospect of their wedding. I said good because nobody apologized to me, everybody just kept saying we were separated, things happen people fall in love, i should be happy for them, the heart wants what i wants. The worst part is my sister told me maybe my baby died for a reason so she could get her happy ending.
I just really love this comment (click through for the whole thing) from this post:
I think you sort of expected the moment you told your husband to take a long walk off a short pier that it was the end. That you'd come out of it feeling liberated and empowered.
But that's not how it always works. Especially when you're still halfway in this thing. It's like you threw open the car door and prepared to tumble out into the grass to safety. But instead you stopped at opening the door. And now you're like halfway hanging out a fast moving car.
And right now I think you're sitting here waiting for a sunshine and rainbows reality to come strolling by to finally convince you it's safe to make the real leap.
TUMBLR!
(via deliverusfromsburb.)
(via largishcat, thread found here.)
(via wrender.)
(via hyrude, thread found here.)
(via bowsersex.)
TIKTOK!
A kitten with an excellent sense of comedic timing.
Some top-tier trolling about the Lay’s factory worker strike.
Adopting an introvert.
I love Gen Z’s nihilistic humour. I’m not cool enough for y’all, but just know I love you.
This is some absolutely bonkers family/wedding drama.
I know I’ve posted this dog before, but it honestly just never gets old.
Coworkers are so nice sometimes.
A TikTok that’ll make you yell “NOOOOOOO!”
A TikTok that’ll make you yell “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”
This is completely predictable but I laughed anyway.
ARTICLES!
The Richest Babysitter in the World, The Atlantic (I missed that this was fiction at first and was like “they’re not doing a great job at disguising the real-life identities”)
This Is What Happened After A Bunch Of Employees At A Burger King Quit, BuzzFeed News
One Woman's Baffling Quest to Uncover the Enduring Allure of Pete Davidson, Jezebel
Exclusive extract: how Facebook's engineers spied on women, Telegraph
How Autistic People Are Showing The Limitations Of Person-First Language, BuzzFeed News
Gettr by the Pu$$y, The Bulwark
That’s all for me today, gorgeous! Talk to you soon.
Love,
Kat