Stuff I saw on the internet last week: "man, it smells like wrongdog in here"
It’s Monday once again! Y’all, we had people — MULTIPLE PEOPLE — over to our place on the weekend (we’re all double vaxxed plus 14 days), and it was an absolute balm to my soul. And this weekend I get to see my family in person!! I wish this joy for all of you as soon as possible.
Also, happy birthday to my sister, Jess!! Love you.
A lot of work goes into making this newsletter, and I’d really appreciate if you’d think about getting a paid subscription to Kat Watches Everything! It’s just $5 a month (or $50 a year, which is two months free), and you’ll be rewarded with bonus content. Last week, paid subscribers got a bonus post about the bonkers Nicolas Cage horror movie Willy’s Wonderland:
Without saying a single word the entire time, Cage somehow manages to ham it up perfectly in this film. Forced to spend the night cleaning the restaurant in exchange for getting his car fixed, he demonstrates excellent work ethic — spending time cleaning, timing his soda breaks, brutally killing an evil robot ostrich, changing his shirt, and getting back to work.
Click below if you’d like to check that out!
On last week’s episode of my podcast I Hate It But I Love It, Jocelyn and I began SpyHIBILI month (a whole month of spy movies), and we kicked things off with The Bourne Identity. It was yet another delightful instance of Jocelyn loving a movie because it features a vulnerable and wet man. You should subscribe! (You can find I Hate It But I Love It in all the usual places, including Apple, Spotify, Stitcher, and Pocket Casts.)
TWEETS!
REDDIT!
This former bridesmaid clearly dodged a bullet:
I asked Lottie to be my bridesmaid and she accepted. A few weeks after she accepted she told me she was pregnant and due two weeks after my wedding. I said that was fine and I didn't mind that she would be heavily pregnant.
I keep asking her for help arranging things, and planning things but she always has an excuse. I understand that she is pregnant but I feel that she's not really that interested in my wedding. She hasn't been asking me any questions about what I am doing and showing very little interest when I try and talk about it. Last night I had enough and told her I no longer wanted her to be my bridesmaid.
Setting boundaries is very important, and good for this person for sticking to their guns:
Thing is her parents get involved in everything. From picking the engagement ring on my behalf, to giving opinions on where we should rent and now my FMIL is constantly giving opinions on our wedding. FMIL would follow up on everything we do and make negative comments on things like: the best man, the guest list, and food. She told my fianceè she didn't like who I picked to be my best man and wanted me replace him after a big argument but I said no. Though My fianceè said we shouldve just done it. MIL also wanted me to un-invite people I wanted at the wedding so she could add more guests on her side of family. I said no to that also.
Even more wedding stuff: a bride being horrible to her kind step-father, who was just trying to help:
On last minute, my bio-dad decided he didn't want to come to my wedding and walk me down the aisle. I got the call while I was getting my makeup done and I was devastated, needless to say. Fred was in the room with me and he started comforting me, telling me it would all be okay, and he said "if you want, I can walk you down."
That just rubbed me wrong and I was already a mess emotionally. Fred knew how much I wanted my bio-dad to walk me down the aisle, and he just suggested it like it didn't matter at all, like I hadn't just gotten my heart broken, and I just snapped and told him he was selfish and told him to get out.
Your daughter just had SURGERY, you monster:
She had surgery around a day ago and she's back home and asked if we could turn the AC down so she can be at least somewhat comfortable. I told her it would be too cold for us and she asked if we could please wear a jacket or something so that I wouldn't be. I told her that I didn't want to.
Dump this motherfucking asshole:
I had surgery at a hospital 3-4h away from home. I had a small complication during surgery so I had to stay until Wednesday (yesterday). My partner returned work on Monday but he came back to pick me up.
The timing was a bad because there was an important football game yesterday and it was really important for my partner to watch it…
While we were waiting to get me discharged he was getting agitated because it was taking a long time. He had to wait outside so he was in his car the whole time because of restrictions at the hospital. After a couple of hours he sent me a text that he had to leave or he'd miss the game. I begged him to not leave and reminded I could book a hotel. But he left without me, and luckily made it on time to see the start of the game. He said he'd come pick me up tomorrow (today) instead.
A good AskReddit thread about bad neighbour experiences:
Every morning of garbage day some people on my street would collect all the half eaten and rotten trash from their lawns and toss it back into the dude's backyard. He would collect it, then dump it back on their lawns. Or cram it into their bushes. People started finding half eaten burritos and candy wrappers in their mailboxes. The street started to look like a slum. Police were called. Health inspectors. City by-law enforcement. Each side was calling in whatever authority they could muster to get their enemy in shit.
And this post has such nice, supportive comments, and there’s also a nice update!
I picked out the peas from my dinner to feed to ducks at the pond close to my step-dad's house because I know ducks like peas. They shouldn’t eat bread because that’s bad for them. I put all the peas in a little cup with my spoon.
Mum’s boss was sitting opposite of me and asked what I was doing so I told him. He was silent for a while and then said OK. We didn't talk a lot but sometimes he asked me a question and I answered.
At the end he gave me some more peas that he had removed from his own food. I asked if he also didn't like peas and he said: ''I do like peas, but I also like ducks, so they can have my peas'' which I think was nice of him.
TUMBLR!
(via donatellotmnt, thread found here.)
(via pissvortex, thread found here.)
(via rupindre, thread found here.)
(via castielenjoyer, thread found here.)
(via dajo42, thread found here.)
And here’s just a really nice story created from a writing prompt.
TIKTOKS!
Chris Fleming is amazing and I could listen to his meandering stories all day.
A very convincing tiger growl.
An important thing to learn and remember.
This woman is an absolute legend.
How to crack your back.
This nightmare is why I’m so grateful for the top-entry litter box I got for my cat.
TikToks like these are why I keep pestering Craig to let me get a second cat.
Turning random internet drama into songs, part 6.
This TikTok is all too real — I made the mistake of telling people my favourite animal was the octopus and the gifts just kept on comin’.
ARTICLES!
We Caught Up With Prancer, The Viral Nightmare Chihuahua. We Found A Story Of Redemption, BuzzFeed News
“Cat Person” and Me, Slate
Doctors Might Have Been Focusing on the Wrong Asthma Triggers, The Atlantic
No Before, No After, Allure
The Subversive Joy of Lil Nas X’s Gay Pop Stardom, New York Times
The Internet Is Rotting, The Atlantic
Carmela's Reckoning: White women, ignorance, and the 53 percent, Men Yell At Me
It Seems I’m Full of Spite, ¡Hola Papi!
That’s all for me today, gorgeous! Talk to you soon.
Love,
Kat