"At long last, we have created the Torment Nexus"
Happy Monday, y’all! It was my birthday on the weekend and I got some nice presents and I got to have dinner and drinks with my best friends. It was great. I hope all your weeks are just as good! Onto internet things.
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This video’s back from 2020, but it’s a fascinating look at regional differences, and how The Simpsons affects everything:
TWEETS!
REDDIT!
A story of how a disgruntled former Chipotle employee took down an entire location:
Two employees and myself go to investigate and find hot sauce coating the walls, all the way up to the ceiling. The entire dishwasher area was covered in it as well. Someone had duct taped two industrial size bags of hot sauce to the sanitizer dispensers, causing the bags to exploded and send hot sauce everywhere. The second discovery was much worse however. The manager comes back to investigate and notices the managers office, not the dishwasher area. She screams and everyone looks at the office. The security monitors, keyboards, files, almost everything is completely lathered in steaming hot queso
This person is my hero:
I tried to keep up for a bit but I fell behind and they didn't slow for me which I found super rude. They actually got ahead out of sight and in that moment I decided "what am I doing here chasing after someone who's being this inconsiderate" and I just stopped and decided I wasn't doing this. I turned back and walked back towards my car, I'd driven my boyfriend but his brother had also brought a vehicle so I figured he wouldn't be stranded.
Uhhhhh… your wife is NOT the problem here, my dude:
she showed up at my workplace 2 days ago with a meal she said she prepared specifically for me since it's my favorite. Apparently this was her surprise. I was little upset she brought it to my workplace. My co workers who are vicious and brutally honest and sarcastic got involved and kept teasing me about the meal. one of them "Austin" joked about how "mommy" is so supportive by bringing food to my workplace. I felt like shit as he and other co workers kept laughing at me.
This is the stupidest fucking argument from a person who clearly is in the wrong:
So, my girlfriend and I were gonna go on a trip with her car and we were working out how to split the gas correctly. Her idea was to collect all of the receipts everytime we fill up on gas, then in the end we will simply divide it by two. I explained to her that this method is not very accurate, and suggested a more accurate and fair method. Told her that before we leave, she'll fill up the tank. Every time after that, when we go to the gas station to fill up again, we will split every fill. Then, when we return, we'll fill the tank and split that. She didn't understand this method at all, and claimed that if we do it my way, she'll be spending more money. I tried to explain to her in so many different ways and she just wasn't getting it. She offered to do it my way, and said she trusts me, but I was determined to make her understand.
TUMBLR!
(via pandora-s-shit, thread found here.)
(via getoutoftherecat, thread found here.)
(via ratboy98.)
(via netherworldpost.)
(via aromanticduck, thread found here.)
TIKTOK!
I love the Woke Bros series.
What a demanding little guy.
Well this is just adorable. Get you someone who’ll make PowerPoint presentations with you.
The saddest roadside attraction in all of Canada.
I love a good still-hopped-up-on-surgery-drugs video.
Dog takes a dog for a walk.
Sometimes regular objects make funny noises.
Such commitment to the fitness regime!
Short, but very important.
ARTICLES!
Aaron Rodgers 'Didn't Expect' Negative Response to Vaccination Statements, Is 'Very Unhappy': Source, People
Aaron Rodgers And The Logical Endpoint Of “My Body, My Choice,” Defector
Capitol Rioter Who Bragged That She’s ‘Definitely Not Going to Jail’ Is Definitely Going to Jail, Rolling Stone
I Will Create A Winning Basketball Program At The University Of Austin, Defector
The Joe Manchin Trolley Problem, Gawker
8 Hollywood A-listers Brian Cox trashes Logan Roy-style in his new book, The Big Issue
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That’s all for me today, gorgeous! Talk to you soon.
Love,
Kat